


The Twelve Pies of Christmas

by Cerdic519



Series: Destiel Drabbles [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-18 23:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13110429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: 12 x 144-word festive drabbles.Cas celebrates the Twelve Days of Christmas with twelve pies for his pie-mad husband.





	1. 'Doin' On Tandoori' Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lyster99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyster99/gifts), [Slsheeba567](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slsheeba567/gifts), [acbooyah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acbooyah/gifts).



“Where's dinner?” Dean asked, surprised.

“You said how much you like pie”, Cas called from the kitchen. “So, for the twelve days of Christmas, you are having a pie to yourself every day.”

“Cool!”

Cas re-emerged with a steaming plate, which he placed in front of his husband. Dean sniffed at the yellow drizzled pie.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Tell you after you try it”, Cas grinned. 

“Onion”, Dean said at once. “Pepper. And.... chips?”

“Dorito and onion?” Cas said. 

“You can't put Doritos in pie, Cas!” Dean protested. “No!”

Cas sighed.

“Then I'd better take....”

How he did not laugh at Dean wrapping his arms defensively around the plate, God alone knew. The pout was hilarious! And if he went so far as to try batting his eyelashes, Cas would be taking him right there on the counter.

+~+~+

Dean batted his eyelashes.....

+~+~+


	2. 'Reaving' Pie

It looked like a cross between a custard pie and an apple tart. Dean was sure Cas wouldn't poison him. At least not intentionally....

“Try it”, Cas urged. 

Dean poured a little custard on – Cas didn't like it when he used too much – and forked off a piece.

“Lemons”, he said once he had swallowed it. “And... something sharp. Not apples, but acidic. What is it?”

“Vinegar Pie”, Cas told him.

Dean didn't pull a face.

“Stop pulling a face”, Cas grinned. “Made with cider vinegar, which may be why you thought 'apples'.”

“Nice with custard”, Dean said. “As it's the second day of Christmas, did you make two?”

He sent his most endearing look at his husband (shut up Sammy, it did _not_ make him look constipated!).

“If I did that, you would end up eating seventy-eight pies”, Cas pointed out.

“Yeah. And?”

+~+~+


	3. 'Ere Oldness' Pie

Dean thought (very quietly) that it looked like someone had barfed into a flan casing, then tried to cover it up with chocolate. Badly.

“Nesselrode Pie” Cas proclaimed. “Named after a nineteenth century gourmand. And no Dean, it doesn't look like...”

“Cas!”

Dean scowled at his husband, but accepted a slice of the strange creation. He took a tentative mouthful.

“Sweet potato?” he asked dubiously. 

Cas shook his head.

“Some sort of custard? But it tastes kinda nutty.”

“Chestnuts. I used pecan and bourbon. Although some recipes use rum.”

“It's actually pretty good”, Dean said. “It's sort of like lemon meringue but with more bite. Who'd have thought of chestnuts in a pie?””

Cas smirked, and put on his most innocent expression.

“Later, you can wrap you mouth around some other nuts....”

Dean nearly choked on his pie!

"Cas! Bad angel!"

His husband sniggered.

+~+~+


	4. 'Wat Suds' Pie

“Sammy was trying to freak me out earlier”, Dean said, entering the kitchen. “Said you were making a sawdust pie!”

The silence was unnerving.

“Your Sawdust Pie is ready”, Cas grinned.

Dean silently cursed that Cas was a) a faster runner than him and b) would withhold sex if Dean complained. The last time he'd done b) for a week, Dean could have hammered in nails with.....

He dragged his thoughts away from those terrible Dark Days (he hadn't even been allowed to jerk himself off, dammit!), and examined the pie before him. It looked like a soft, large brownie. He took a bite.

“This is delicious!” he exclaimed. “What is it?”

“Cookies, pecans, coconuts and saw....”

Dean gulped. 

“Sorely hard to find eggs it was, but I managed.”

Dean glared at him, but cut himself a second (much larger) slice. Cas smirked.

Loudly.

+~+~+


	5. 'No, Do Jamly' Pie

Sam Winchester did not whine. But the look he was giving his brother should have turned him to dust, if there was any justice in the world.

Apparently there was not. Dammit!

“It's your own fault, Sam”, Cas said unsympathetically. “You could have waited for dinner, but sneaking to the fridge when we were both sat watching TV.....”

And definitely not cuddling, Dean thought.

“You know how much I love coconut”, Sam grumbled. “And what sort of bastard puts an alarm on the refrigerator?”

“The sort of bastard who makes a heavenly Almond Joy Pie”, Dean grinned. “With a thick, creamy coconut filling.”

“Caaaas!”

Cas smiled, but brought out a small slice for his sulking brother-in-law. It was gone in under a minute, and Sam fixed his gaze on his elder brother's slice.

“Puppy eyes don't work when there's pie around”, Dean grinned.

“Dammit!”

+~+~+


	6. 'Free Babe End' Pie

“That smells wonderful”, Dean said, sniffing the large pie as Cas placed it on the table. “What is it?”

Cas grinned evilly. 

“Taste it and see”, he said. 

“You haven't put tofu or some other crap in there?” Dean asked warily.

“A tofu pie”, Cas mused. “Now _there's_ an idea.....”

Dean's eyes widened in horror, and he quickly sliced off a large piece of the pie that looked delicious. He took a mouthful and his eyes lit up.

“You.... you made me a _beer_ pie?”

“Beef And Beer Pie”, Cas confirmed. “Made with your favorite brew....”

“Hallelujah!”

+~+~+

It was only much later Dean realized that with all that alcohol inside him - yes, he had eaten the whole pie, and shut up! - Cas would have to drive them to dinner at Sam's that evening. In the freakin' pimpmobile!

Meh, the pie had been worth it.

+~+~+


	7. 'Or Mess' Pie

“Eggs?”

It really was unfair of Cas to spring a pie on him at breakfast, especially after seeing in the New Year like that. And that bastard had no right to smirk so much as Dean hobbled to the table.

Okay, maybe he had _some_ right.... especially after The Waistcoat Thing.

“Your first pie of the New Year”, Cas proclaimed. “Try it.”

The slice he placed before Dean was odd-looking, a marshmallow topping that looked like lot of fried eggs next to each other. The inside looked chocolaty however, so Dean took a bold, large bite. His eyes widened.

“You made a pie out of s'mores?” he said. “You know how much I love s'mores!”

“I know”, Cas grinned. “And you can have two 's'mores' slices....”

“Yes!”

“ _After_ we have cleaned out the garage like you said we would.”

“Dammit, that's just mean!”

“Yes.”

+~+~+


	8. 'Ralf Pep' Pie

“I'm not sure about this pie”, Cas said as he placed it before his husband. “The recipe said it doesn't keep well.”

Dean stared dubiously at the pie before him. It looked like someone had injected meringue between the top and bottom parts of a regular custard pie. Bravely (and because he couldn't cope with Cas' Sad Disappointed Face™) he forked off and ate a piece. His eyes widened.

“This is ab-so-lute-ly _gorgeous_!” he exclaimed, setting about the rest of the slice.

“It's Flapper Pie”, Cas told him. “A Canadian dish. Not too sweet, I hope...”

The slice was gone, and Dean was already onto his next one.

“Looks like the pie not keeping won't be a problem after all!” Cas grinned.

“Mphm?”

“Yes, I put by my own slice”, Cas smiled. “The rest is all yours, Dean.”

“Love you so much!”

“I know.”

+~+~+


	9. 'Coiled Bride' Pie

“Another custard pie?” Dean asked, surprised. Cas smiled.

“Well, if you don't want any....”

Cue the Official Dean Winchester You're-Being-A-Mean-Meanie-From-Meanieville Pout™. Cas contented himself with a knowing look, placed the pie on the table and cut his husband a slice. Dean sniffed at it tentatively.

“Apples?” he said. "Smells alcoholic."

“Boiled cider pie”, Cas said. “That drink you only order at the Roadhouse when I'm not with you.”

“Jo's a tattle-tale”, Dean muttered crossly. 

He forked off a piece of pie and swallowed it. 

“Hey, this is good. You trying to get me drunk so you can have your wicked way with me?”

“Like I need alcohol to do that!” Cas grinned.

“Hey!”

“But since it is alcoholic, perhaps I'd better limit you to....”

And the You're-Being-A-Mean-Meanie-From-Meanieville Pout™ was amped up to Level Two. Cas didn't laugh, but it was close.

Okay, he laughed.

+~+~+


	10. 'Cheat Of Cool Finch' Pie

“That looks delicious!” Dean said as Cas brought a chocolate and cream pie to the table. “What is it?”

“Chocolate Chiffon Pie”, Cas told him. Dean wrinkled his nose.

“Sounds girly”, he complained. 

“Perhaps you don't want any...”

He had to laugh at the look Dean gave him. He cut his husband a generous slice of pie, and himself a smaller one, smiling at the moans of pleasure from across the table.

“ _Love_ me some chocolate”, Dean muttered.

“I recall someone not far away once said that pie without fruit wasn't proper pie”, Cas observed.

“Chocolate comes from a bean”, Dean said smugly. “So it's either fruit and can go in pie, or a veggie so I have to eat five a day.”

Cas smiled. The World According To Dean Winchester, his wonderful pie-mad husband. 

Who was already (and noisily) onto his second slice.

+~+~+


	11. 'Ungerry Boy' Pie

Dean was suspicious. The latticed wonder before him _looked_ like a regular fruit pie – raspberry from the smell, maybe? - but bearing in mind the culinary journey Cas had taken him on in the past week or so, there had to be more to it.

“I made some of my special custard, in case you find it too sharp”, Cas said, placing the blue jug beside his husband. “Try it.”

Dean forked off a slice of pie and ate it. It wasn't raspberry, but it was very close.

“Blackberry?” he hazarded.

“Youngberry.”

Dean stared at his husband in surprise.

“Never heard of them.”

“They're a raspberry, blackberry and dewberry cross”, Cas said as Dean poured custard over his slice. “What do you think?”

“Sharp but nice”, Dean said. 

“Unfortunately they don't keep well, so...”

“ _Not_ gonna be a problem.”

Cas grinned. Just as he'd thought.

+~+~+


	12. 'Slap Me Mop' Pie

“I _think_ you'll like this”, Cas said carefully. “I tried it on Sam.”

“You gave Sammy my pie?” Dean asked. “Why'd you do that? He only likes....”

He suddenly got it. Cas nodded.

“He found the Campbell family recipe for Mom's Apple Pie”, he said. “You know what he's like in the kitchen – Sarah won't let him near the place – so I tried to make it. What do you think?”

Dean's eyes were watering, but he dutifully forked off a slice. He bit into it carefully – and the memories came flooding back.

Cas was hugging him before the first tear. It took some time, but Dean finished his slice.

Okay, he ate the whole damn pie. And because Dean was such a good husband, he even let Cas cu.... hold him in a manly embrace all evening.

Damn guy could smirk for the Olympics!

+~+~+


End file.
